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What you’ve got to understand is that by the time I found out what Nana Jeanie had done with the body she was already onto the next and it’s fair to say that in light of what came later that first assault on Raquel’s dog is barely worth considering even though Nana Jeanie had porcupined little Minky-Sue with several dozen barbecue skewers from Wilko and kept the punctured and decaying doglet in her carpet bag till she’d seen fit to slap the reeking cadaver down on the Costa Coffee counter all the while grinning and simpering as Minky-Sue’s sweet stench rushed to meet the signature Costa cinnamon musk and to be honest I don’t even think Raquel was that bothered because if you have an overwhelming belief in preordination then what are you going to do when someone by which I mean Nana Jeanie porcupines your dog and so Raquel took the porcupining of Minky-Sue in fairly good humour all things considered and I guess none of this was entirely out of the blue given Nana Jeanie’s reputation for being a woman of strong convictions by which I mean four counts of conspiracy to murder six of arson and at least forty-two diverse petty misdemeanours including but not limited to larceny abduction malicious mischief and indecent exposure and even if in the context of what came after the episode with Raquel’s Minky-Sue shrinks to absolute trivia it did mark a concerning development in the way Nana Jeanie liked to do business in that no one had seen the porcupining of a highland terrier coming least of all Raquel because Raquel’s blind and even if you thought that Nana Jeanie might have been on the cusp of something extraordinary something truly truly extraordinary who would have guessed that her opening gambit would involve slinging a rope around the skewered Minky-Sue and dragging her outside and swinging her evacuated little body through the air in great ellipses like a morning star and all the while the crows whorling above and Raquel sipping her babyccino in Calvinist contemplation at the window and Nana Jeanie shrieking with euphoric frankly erotic glee.

the porcupining of minky-sue

john ash

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